Trash Talk
by The Fragile Capricorn
Summary: Freddie's caught between two girls - the one he always dreamed of and the one who always hurt him. And messed up as it was, he seemed to prefer the rowdy meat-lover. Contains hobos, stolen computer monitors, and Seddie.
1. Confused?

**- Trash Talk -**

_Sam x Freddie  
iCarly._

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own iCarly, or am affiliated with any company involved with iCarly.

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_Carly will never love you.  
_

He used to lunge at her for saying that.

He used to get hurt because of those words.

He used to get incredibly affected.

Used to.

_"...We should kiss?"_

_"You're gonna break my arm now, won't you?"_

_"...Nope."_

Silence.

_"So... Should we?"_

_"Just to get it over with."_

_"Just to get it over with. And we swear we get back to hating each other as soon as this is over."_

_"Swear."_

Just to get it over with? Was it really just to get it over with? It was Sam who finished the idea. It was Sam who brought up the idea of the kiss in the first place. It was Sam who apologized, who revealed that she never had her first kiss either, that if there should be someone being teased, it should be her.

_"Which is a bad idea unless you live near a hospital."_

Freddie chuckled. Typical Sam, always tough, always quick with a comeback. The one time she showed her genuine kindness to Freddie, they shared their first kiss. The one technique to disarm any girl - even Samantha Puckett. But right now, Sam was missing.

It had only been a week since Freddie got out of his cast, and wasn't sure about what he was feeling. On one hand, he finally had Carly. Well, almost. With the whole 'hero' thing and Sam convincing him that this wasn't really because Carly liked him like that, Carly wasn't really his yet. And then there was Sam.

Sam convinced him that this was just about the 'hero' thing. Freddie didn't know what her motives were when she said that. He figured out that she just wanted to save Carly from this stupid thing - if it WAS a stupid thing. And then maybe, Sam was trying to save Freddie from potential heartbreak. _But why would she?_

_"Sam? I hate you."_

_"Hate you too."_

Sam was missing. She had been missing for two days, and it definitely wasn't like her to be MIA at Carly's. She always ate there. Or stole money from Spencer. Whatever tickled her fancy.

Then again, Freddie hadn't been visiting the Shays since he was down.

For some reason, he had to talk to Sam. Freddie had been thinking things over - about Sam, about Carly, about his first kiss, about his kiss with Carly, about Sam's apology, about Carly's life being saved. Never did he imagine that he would get tangled in such a complicated web.

"Why, oh why, couldn't it have been simple as liking Carly, and ending there?"

That day, he decided to meet Carly. It had been pretty awkward, adjusting to a walk after being grounded for a while, but he got the hang of it soon enough. After all, he had been walking for the past thirteen or fourteen years of his life. Why would he forget it over an accident?

_Why would he forget his first kiss because of an accident?_

Freddie scowled. He tried to flood out the messed up thoughts in his head and knocked on the Shay's door.

"Freddie?"

He smiled. "Hey, Carly."

Carly studied Freddie for a minute then smiled back. "So, you're out of your cast?"

"Yes."

Silence.

"So... have you figured it out yet?"

"Figured out what?"

"You know... how you feel about me," Freddie replied. His hands went cold. He felt like it would be way better if he had been in a cast again. A full-body cast in a hospital. Anywhere but here. Carly's verdict was going to confuse him more. What would he do? Rejoice if she said she liked him still, or be disappointed? Did she like him really? Or better question...

_Do I still like Carly?_

For a moment, Freddie traveled back in time. _It's so stupid, how people get so worked up about their first kiss._

_"I'm sorry for everything..."_

But will she stop making him miserable?

_"No. I'll just apologize every few years so I could start fresh again."_

Good.

_"Good?"_

Yeah. It would be weird if you didn't make my life miserable all the time.

"Freddie, are you still there?"

"Umm... Oh, yeah. So?"

"I... I don't know, really. I'm confused, Freddie. I really am. I'm still trying to figure it out."

Freddie cleared his throat. Somehow, he hoped that she would let him off. That she wanted to only be friends. Somehow, that suddenly became his wish. "Yeah. Yeah, me too."

"I'm... I'm sorry if that wasn't what you wanted to hear, Freddie."

"It's okay, I'm good."

"But... But if it makes you feel better, I guess I was your first kiss," Carly said.

_Sam._

Freddie looked at Carly, not really sure how to react. _I guess I was your first kiss._

"I... Carly, have you seen Sam?"

"Sam? Why?"

"I... I just remembered something I need to talk to her about."

"Can't you tell me?"

"I don't know."

Carly fell silent. She was confused, too. She liked Freddie before, but as a friend. She always said she wouldn't sacrifice her friendship with him for a deeper relationship. But was it really what she wanted? Freddie's kiss was good. She felt like she liked him there, at that time. Like she was wrong through all the years and Freddie was worth the sacrifice. But was it really?

"I haven't seen her since this morning," she replied.

He nodded. "I guess I have to go now." He headed for the stairs. It would be a good way to adjust further to his rediscovered walking condition.

"Freddie?"

"Hm?"

"Take care."

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_**A/n: **First chapter up. I've been thinking about this story through last night. Will be a two-shot, promise. Obviously, it will. There wasn't much Seddie in here anyway, and I disapprove of Creddie, so yeah. At this moment, I'm writing the second chapter, so it shouldn't take long. I have the habit of putting stories on paper - or word processor - in advanced, so there. Crits? Comments? Ohyeah, is set after iSaved Your Life. You'll find out why it's called 'Trash Talk' in the second chapter. :D  
_


	2. Yep Trash Talk

**- Trash Talk -**

_Sam x Freddie  
iCarly Fanfic._

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_**Disclaimer: **I do not own, nor am I affiliated to iCarly. I, however, own mister Alfred the hobo in this chapter._

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Sam frowned and looked like she was about to tear the clueless hobo limb from limb. She was carrying a sleek, state-of-the-art HD computer monitor she stole from the Benson's apartment. She wasn't really sure why it suddenly kicked in - the anger, the fury, the convincing, the lockpicking, the stealing. And now, because of Freddie saving Carly's life, she was yelling at a hobo.

"You. Cannot. Have. This. Monitor!"

Sam kicked a nearby can as Alfred the hobo shouted back. "I wanna watch TV!" He said, speech slurred but perfectly understandable.

Sam snorted. "Pshh. Hobos can't afford cable, doofus."

"Wuaagh!" Alfred flailed his arms and screamed in protest. Sam had to threaten him with her hair to shut him up. Apparently, he believed that people with long hair hide a monster in there. Alfred frowned at her walked away, muttering something about toes and hot air balloons under his breath as he did so.

Sam threw down the monitor. It joined many other stolen technological whatchamacallits she stole from Freddie's room on the ground. For good measure, she stomped and stepped on it and kicked on the trash bins and dumpsters surrounding her. The alley behind the apartment building wasn't dark, but it definitely looked like a complete dump because of Sam's little decorations. She just felt like she had to let all of this out - she hated the idea of Freddie and Carly together. Hated it. Loathed it. Sam wasn't the one to deny her feelings to herself, and she'd been liking Freddie long before that stupid first kiss which made everything worse.

She kicked a dumpster, and out came screeching alley cats that hissed at her. She hissed back.

It had been going downhill for her, ever since Freddie saved Carly's life. _But he was just doing what any caring, concerned person would do._

_Would any caring, concerned person break your heart?_

They kissed just to get it over with.

_Nobody kissed 'just to get it over with'. No one. Especially not me._

I don't know.

Sam could have gone to the fire escape, but she didn't want Freddie to find her. Well, she did. She wanted to talk to Freddie badly, but she was just dead confused she didn't really know what she wanted. _Better he not show up, unless he wants a broken nose and rearranged innards._

"Sam?"

She turned around.

Somehow, that voice sounded so hateful, and so good at the same time.

Soon as she turned around to get a glimpse of him, she turned back. The last thing she needed was for her to fall all over him again. And get her heart broken more than what it was now.

"Leave, Freddork."

"Sam, what're you-- are those my _stuff_?"

No answer. _Sam would always, ALWAYS, be quick with a comeback._

"Sam, forget about my stuff. Why're you here? You've been missing for the past few days."

She didn't answer, and instead, went to step on some of Freddie's more expensive techie stuff. They all sparked under her feet. Freddie shook his head.

"Sam!"

"I thought I told you to go away."

"I don't want to."

"Why are _you _here anyway, Fredward?"

"I was supposed to go to Groovy Smoothies, but, umm, I stopped by to check on... things."

Silence yet again.

Sam started to break it. "Look, Freddie. Leave, now."

"Why?"

"I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you." _But I do. But..._

"Sam, what's with you all of a sudden?" Freddie was definitely confused, but he didn't go searching everywhere for Sam for nothing. Well, he didn't really go searching everywhere for Sam. It just so happened that the first corner he turned happened to be where Sam was.

"Nothing. Now leave, or I'll be forced to do something harsh."

She tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, but apparently, nothing escapes Freddie's eagle eye. She tried to wipe off a tear on her cheek, only to get a remark from him.

"Sam, are you _crying?"_

"No, my eyes are sweating!" she snapped.

"Sam!"

"Fine! Take a good, long look. TAKE A GOOD LONG FREAKIN' LOOK THEN LAUGH AT ME FOR CRYING!" She just had to do it. Sam Pucketts weren't cowards. She figured she'd have to show him anyway. Besides, the dump wasn't as appealing as she thought it would be. Sam turned around and faced Freddie. _He could have an eyeful of my heartbreak and tears now. And then maybe a knuckle sandwich later. Damn 'trash talk'. We just had to be by the dumps.  
_

"Why?"

Sam approached him, snarling, with a fierce, angry look in her eyes. "Go leave now, Freddie. I don't need you to be here to remind me of something that I want but I can't get. You just HAD to give me my first kiss."

"...So, you're jealous?"

Sam punched him in the gut.

"Ow!"

He was in incredible pain, but Sam wasn't talking. She wasn't doing anything except crying. Quietly, of course. Even with the tears streaming down her face, she looked like she was a dog about to attack. And Freddie definitely didn't want Sam to be attacking him in the worst way possible. He tried to muster up his strength and stood as straight as he could.

"Sam, are you?"

Sam just death-stared at him. For the nth time that day, they fell in silence, broken only by the flies that decided to feast around leftovers in the dumpster.

They looked into each other's eyes, for a long time, Freddie's a mix of confusion and happiness at the thought of Sam being jealous, and Sam a mix of pure anger, hatred, sadness and longing.

"I just want you to go, Freddie," she started. "Just... go." Her tone wasn't angry. On the contrary, it was sad, almost deep in agony. "I don't need reminders of what we could have been. You just had to give me my first kiss. You just had to give me hope."

"Sam, I..."

"I know I don't have a chance with you. I've made your life miserable, Carly's made your life happy and everything. Go back to her - she's waiting for you."

Freddie stood rooted to the spot.

"I don't want to, Sam."

"..."

"I... decided I don't like Carly like that anymore."

"Don't act like you're sympathetic, Fredweirdo."

"Sam, I'm telling the truth."

"You wouldn't save me even if your life depended on it."

"Sam, don't be stupid-"

"I hate you, Freddie. I hate you with all my guts, with all my being. I hate you."

"You can't, Sam."

He hugged her. Well, at least he tried to. She didn't even put up a resistance. She just stood there, not returning the hug. Freddie kept her in that embrace for as long as he could, before Sam hugged back. Her face was still set like that - angry, but she was hugging back at the very least.

_"I hate you."_

_"Hate you too."_

"I hate you, Freddie."

"I know."

Silence.

"Well, you just had to choose this place, Puckett. Being dramatic near a bunch of broken computers and dumpsters?"

"Shut up, dork."

They let go of the embrace, but not before Freddie had his kiss. It caught Sam off-guard, and even invited violent reactions from her, but she finally gave in.

_First kisses really are special._

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_**A/n: **Finished. I rushed it, really. It didn't go as planned, but I guess it's good enough.  
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